


the sun, the moon, and the truth

by UchiHime



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mpreg, Unplanned Pregnancy, cryptic pregnancy, not abo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27768535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UchiHime/pseuds/UchiHime
Summary: Three things cannot long be hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.-In which Changbin didn't know he was pregnant until the moment he gave birth and all we are is the consequences of our choices.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 57





	the sun, the moon, and the truth

**Author's Note:**

> Contains mpreg that's not alpha/beta/omega because I miss mpreg for the sake of mpreg. Just take it as it is.
> 
> Also, while cryptic pregnancies (or "i didn't know i was pregnant" situations) are a real thing that really happen to people, this fic is not a good representation of it. So take that as it is too.

_ the sun, the moon, and the truth _

His sister’s son had freckles and a laugh that sounded like tinkling bells. 

He was two already, but the last time Changbin had seen him, he was tiny, smushed-faced and squalling. It felt like that had only been yesterday, and sitting here now, Changbin couldn’t help but wonder where the time had gone and how he’d missed so much of it. 

He hadn’t meant to stay away so long, but the tiny infant in his memory was now a toddler who wasn’t just walking, but running and speaking with more real words than babble. He had no idea who Changbin was, but he smiled for him all the same and that smile made something in Changbin  _ ache _ .

“He looks like his dad,” Changbin said.

His sister nodded but added, “His chin and mouth are definitely Seo traits.” What she meant was that he looked as much like Changbin as he did his dad and Changbin could see the resemblance even if he didn’t want to acknowledge it.

As his sister’s son toddled towards him with an armful of toys and stars in his eyes, Changbin’s heart grew heavy and his soul tangled with regrets. 

Changbin could still remember the first time he’d seen this child, a too-small newborn cradled in his arms. Changbin had looked at him and cried. He cried as though his world was ending, as though he could see no future beyond that point. What should have been a joyous occasion had instead become a moment of mourning.

He had turned to his sister with red eyes and tear-streaked cheeks and told her he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to go forward from here. 

Changbin had been selfish, but his sister had always been kind and caring and understanding. She’d always spoiled him. She loved Changbin so much that, instead of letting him ruin his own future, she had chosen to put her own at risk instead.

And now Changbin sat here and watched a child that was equal parts himself and Felix excitedly show off his toys, and he had to remind himself that this was his sister’s son and not his own.

Korean society was not kind to unwed parents. His sister claiming his child as her own was a huge sacrifice Changbin felt unworthy of. But what was he supposed to do? He’d been 19, legally an adult but really still a child. He’d been just about to make all his dreams a reality. A baby would have ruined everything; he would have been kicked out of Stray Kids and JYPE and never be able to work in the idol industry again. Hell, he’d struggle to find work anywhere. All his hard work would have been for nothing.

Yes, it was childish and selfish to put his dreams before the tiny life he’d brought into the world. Yes, it was incredibly selfish to let his sister make those sacrifices in his place. But he hadn’t wanted a child and his sister had offered.

Like a coward, he’d taken the easy out.

* * *

Changbin couldn’t count the number of mistakes that had led to this moment.

It had started with the survival show. 

No. It had started when a freckled boy had sat next to Changbin during a JYP showcase rehearsal and Changbin could see how nervous he was. He couldn’t help but reach out. Then Changbin had heard his deep voice and it had made his heart quiver. 

Changbin hadn’t fallen in love, not in that moment, not later, not even now, but he had been intrigued, charmed even. Changbin had wanted to know him better, be his friend, so he had.

It had started with that one moment, but it had culminated on the survival show, with a cheek kiss, and a whispered confession, an elimination, and the echoing thought that they were supposed to have more time.

They were supposed to have more time. This was supposed to be their beginning, their start line. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. They were supposed to have more time.

They had clung to each other, terrified of letting go.

Fear had led to stupidity.

Stupidity led to kisses that tasted only of tears, and desperately clinging hands and bad decisions. They’d thought they would have a lifetime together to figure out what was between them, but instead they only had one night.

It was a mistake and they knew it. This wasn’t something they should be doing, but they didn’t want to be separated, and so they tried to bury themselves in each other.

They’d thought the only thing they would carry from that night was regrets.

When Felix had been brought back and allowed to debut with the team, the two of them talked about what they’d done only once. They’d agreed that it had been a mistake that shouldn’t be repeated, that even if they were in love (which they weren’t), there was too much at risk for them to act on those feelings. Better to forget it ever happened and focus on the future.

They never talked about it again and instead focused on their future.

* * *

When someone says they didn’t know they were pregnant up until the moment they gave birth, no one believes them. How could you  _ not _ know? How completely unaware of your own body do you have to be to not realize you’re growing one inside of you? How can you attribute the symptoms of pregnancy to anything other than pregnancy?

But Changbin was a dumb kid balancing a high-stress job and completing high school. The months between completing the survival show and their official debut had given them little to no downtime. Every day, they were producing or recording or promoting something and on top of that was learning choreo and doing homework. It was all fulfilling and worth it for him to reach his dreams, but between all of that, how was he supposed to notice a pregnancy he’d never even considered in the first place?

Thinking back, he realized he’d had what was probably morning sickness for approximately two days. He’d thought it was food poisoning. His fluctuating weight had been attributed to stress and the fact that he’d always been the type to gain weight easily. The random aches and pains he got he chalked up to the physical exertion of dance practice. His lack of energy had been exhaustion, plain and simple.

So, up until the moment he’d given birth, Changbin really hadn’t known he was pregnant. 

He looked it up online after the fact and learned it was called a Cryptic Pregnancy, an uncommon occurrence that generally happened to people who had no reason to think that they might be pregnant, so it just never registered with them that they were. Why would Changbin even consider the possibility that the clumsy fumblings of distressed teenagers would result in pregnancy?

The day Changbin had gone into labor, he’d been grumpy and uncomfortable all morning and ended up leaving dance practice early because he’d thought he was sick. When he’d found himself writhing in pain from the “mild discomfort” he’d felt that morning growing too intense to bear, he hadn’t wanted to worry Chan or the team or their manager, so he’d called his sister in a panic.

Changbin didn’t like to worry people, to appear weak in front of people he should be strong for. He’d rather hide his emotions and pretend he was fine than be the reason someone else lost strength. His big sister was the exception. He never had to make a show of being strong in front of her, because she had always been there for him when he was at his weakest. From skinned knees to first heartbreaks, his sister had seen him through it all. There was no one else he’d think to call.

His sister had, as she’d always done, immediately dropped everything and rushed to his side. She'd driven to the hospital while he cried in the passenger seat, confused and terrified about what was happening to him.

Changbin could barely recall what happened between arriving at the emergency room and being rushed up to a hospital room. He vaguely remembered a doctor asking him how far along he was, but the question had made no sense to him and he'd been in so much pain, all he could do was cry.

Everything after that was a haze, his next clear memory was having a baby placed in his arms and being told it was a boy.

* * *

Changbin stayed in the hospital for three days after giving birth. He remembered that his sister had called Chan and their manager, but he doesn't remember what she'd told them about why he was in the hospital and how she stopped them from visiting.

For three days he'd laid in a hospital bed recovering from a pregnancy he hadn't known was happening and staring at a baby he'd never even wanted. His sister was the only person, aside from doctors and nurses, he saw during that time. She never once left his side.

A nurse had given him a birth certificate with the only line filled out being the birthing parent's name and told him that there was no rush to fill out the rest, but it needed to be done before he was released.

For three days, his child did not have a name.

On the morning of the third day, his sister took the document and her cell phone. She ran her fingers through Changbin’s hair and kissed him on the forehead. “Don’t worry, Binnie, noona will take care of everything.”

When Changbin left the hospital, he did not have a child, but his sister now had a son.

* * *

In the video his sister sent him, Changbin could just barely make out Stray Kids performing on MCountdown on the television. His sister’s son stood in front of the screen bobbing his whole body and shuffling side to side to the music, a toddler’s version of dancing. He sang too, mostly babbles that vaguely followed the rhythm intermixed with happy giggles. When the Stray Kids stage ended, he clapped his hands and ran up to the TV and hugged the screen.

“ _ I didn’t teach him that _ ,” the accompanying text message read, “ _ He was just born loving music. Must be in his blood. _ ”

With his heart lodged in his throat, Changbin hit replay on the video and watched the happy baby dance to his music again.

He remembered how, the last time he’d visited them, his sister’s son had refused to go down for a nap until his sister had turned on music for him. The familiar opening chords of  _ Glow _ had played from his sister’s phone and the child had immediately curled up and began to doze off. Changbin’s sister had told him it was their official bedtime song. “ _ It never fails to calm him down and put him right to sleep, _ ” she’d told him. “ _ I think he must have got used to your voice. _ ”

“What are you smiling at?” Han asked, throwing himself onto the couch next to Changbin and leaning in to look at his phone screen.

Changbin had to fight the urge to close the video and hide the phone. The team knew his sister had a son, it wasn't a secret, so it wouldn’t be a surprise to find Changbin watching videos of the boy, but Changbin didn’t often share the videos his sister sent with the team.

Changbin held his phone out for Han to see, ignoring the way his heart pounded in his chest as he did so. “My sister just sent it. Seems her son liked our stage.”

Han watched the video and smiled. “Cute!” He cooed, wide eyed and adoring, tiny clapping along with the baby. “I’m surprised, though,” Han said after watching the video playthrough a second time. “I think this is the first time you actually let one of us see your nephew.”

Changbin wanted to deny that, but he knew it was true. His sister’s son looked so much like Felix, there was no mistaking his parentage. For the members, who were more familiar with Felix’s face than anyone, Changbin was sure that all it would take was one glance for all his secrets to come out. It was a risk he couldn’t afford to take. He’d only let Han see this video because the child’s back was to the camera the entire time, unlike in the other pictures and videos his sister sent.

“My sister is very protective of him,” Changbin said.

“I understand that, but what do you think we’ll do? Memorize his face and snatch him off the streets or something?” Han pouted.

“I’m just respecting my sister’s wishes, okay. It’s not a big deal.” 

Changbin may have spoken a bit too harshly, because Han tensed next to him. But before Changbin could say anything to ease the situation, Han’s smile fell back into place. “You’re right, it’s not a big deal. We probably couldn’t handle the combined cuteness of two Seo babies anyway. Baby Changbin is all we need.”

Taking the offered truce, Changbin laughed and bumped his shoulder against Han’s. He wanted to tease him and further ease the tension, but the guilt and the weight of his secret stilled his tongue.

One day, the truth would come out. Hopefully, it would be on his own terms; he would tell them when the time was right and they would understand and not judge his choices and Felix would forgive him.

One day.

* * *

The truth is, Changbin and Felix really were in love, but there was too much at stake to risk acting on it, so they denied it.

It wasn’t public knowledge, but when Stray Kids had debuted, they’d been given the same three year dating ban as Twice sunbaenim had. Waiting three years to act on their feelings would have been hard enough—though if they really loved each other as much as they thought, the wait wouldn’t matter—but there’d been a subclause added to their contract stating that even after the three years were up, they weren’t allowed to date within the team. In three years, they would be allowed to date other people, but as long as Stray Kids existed, they would not be allowed to date each other.

Being idols meant making sacrifices, this was something Changbin understood well. 

Honestly, it was better this way. As much as he loved Felix, Changbin knows he’d never be able to enter a relationship with him while he was lying to him like this. A lie by omission is still a lie afterall.

Changbin had thought about telling Felix before. 

The day he’d returned to the dorms after giving birth, the second he’d laid eyes on Felix, he’d almost told him right then and there. And that wasn’t the last time the truth had sat on his tongue, pressing behind his teeth and demanding to be spoken until he’d forcibly swallowed it down.

Late at night, when the two of them laid in their respective beds in their shared dorm room, talking about everything and nothing, and the nights when Felix curled up against his chest and whispered secrets into the dark, the early mornings when Felix was barefaced and radiant and Changbin stared at him as though his beauty was a revelation, the lazy afternoons when Felix pressed against his side demanding attention and affection, in all the moments he felt his love the strongest… 

Changbin had lost count of all the times and places when the urge to confess his sins to Felix and beg for absolution had nearly overwhelmed him. But how exactly do you tell someone you’d had their secret love child and have given him away? How do you burden them with a secret so big and world shattering they cannot share with anyone? 

You don’t.

You don’t tell. You hold it in, swallow it down, convince yourself it’s better this way. When Felix whispers his secrets against your chest at night, hold him close and bury your own secrets too deep for him to hear.

Changbin and Felix do not have a child. Repeat it until you believe it. They’re not in love and they don’t have a child.

They’re not in love for the same reason they do not have a child. There’s too much at risk. One wrong move and they could lose everything they’d worked so hard for. They’d sacrificed too much already. 

But unlike the truth of their feelings, that they sometimes allowed themselves to admit in the dark of night when it was just the two of them and the weight of holding it in grew too much and they needed the reassurance of knowing that someone loved them with everything they had, the truth of Changbin’s sister’s son could not be spoken in the dark or the light. It was not a burden that could be shared. 

As much as Changbin would like to tell, he could not do it.

* * *

“Changbin, can I talk to you for a second?”

Changbin looked up, startled by both Chan’s sudden appearance and the hard tone of his voice. 

“Sure, hyung,” Changbin said, nudging Hyunjin until he moved off of him. “I thought you were at the company,” he added. Stray Kids were currently on a break, but while Changbin was spending the day watching dramas with Hyunjin, Chan had been gone since early that morning, presumably working through their break as he always did.

“I just got back,” Chan stated, with a hard edge still in his tone. “Meet me in the other room.”

Changbin and Hyunjin shared confused looks as their leader walked away without another word. “What did you do?” Hyunjin asked. “Hyung seems pissed.”

Chan hadn’t even bothered greeting Hyunjin. It was very unlike him. His tone and the clench of his jaw had broadcast anger loud and clear.

Changbin shrugged as he stood up. “Guess I’m about to find out. If I die, send Gyu to my sister.”

“I’ll do a lovely eulogy at your funeral,” Hyunjin quipped, settling into the warm spot against the arm of the sofa the Changbin had just vacated.

Changbin felt a lot like a child on the way to the principal’s office as he all but dragged his feet to follow Chan into the other room. Chan didn’t get angry often and it was always frightening when he did and Changbin for the life of him could not think of anything he’d recently done that would put their leader in such a mood.

Changbin stepped into the dorm room that had previously just been his and Felix’s until Chan had decided to move in with them. Now Felix spent as many nights curled up in Chan’s arms as he did Changbin’s, and Changbin was fine with that; he loved Felix too much to ever fault his relationships with the others, he knew there was a special bond between the two Aussies and he had no intention of coming between that and it didn’t at all make him question Felix’s feelings for him.

Chan was standing in the center of the room with his eyes fixed on his phone screen, thumbs flying lightning fast as he typed on the device, not even looking up when Changbin entered the room. He worried his lower lip between his teeth as he typed something quick and furious.

“Hyung?”

“Close the door and come here,” Chan ordered tersely.

Changbin obeyed, shutting the door firmly and taking hesitant steps towards Chan. 

Chan finally looked up from his phone once Changbin was standing beside him, but instead of saying anything, he thrust his phone towards Changbin’s face. Changbin stared at the screen and his sister’s son stared back at him.

With clumsy hands, Changbin took the phone, his eyes fixed on the screen in disbelief that was quickly turning to panic and anger. “Where did you get this?” Changbin asked, swiping his thumb across the screen only for his heart to stop at the sight of the picture that replaced the previous one.

The second picture showed Changbin reaching out to grab the toddler leaning out of his sister’s arms with his hands outstretched towards Changbin. Another swipe and a third picture showed Changbin smiling at the toddler now in his own arms.

“They’re currently being passed around on Twitter,” Chan said.

From their outfits, Changbin could tell these pictures had been taken the previous day, when he’d met his sister for lunch and they’d walked around a few shops together. Changbin hadn’t known he’d been recognized. He’d been wearing a face mask almost the entire time, only lowering during the meal and at the moment these pictures were taken, because his sister had purchased some sweets and had given him one.

Changbin swiped to the fourth picture, his heart lodged in his throat and a feeling of helplessness settling around his shoulders.

“What is this, Changbin,” Chan asked.

“He’s my sister’s son,” Changbin mumbled weakly.

Chan’s jaw clenched. “Don’t bullshit me, Changbin,” He said, the hard edge returning to his tone. “We both know that’s Felix’s kid. You’d have to be an idiot not to see it, and our Stays are not idiots. I’ve already seen more than one post this picture side by side with Felix’s baby pictures. I’m doing my best from my fan account to get people to stop spreading it, and some Stays are helping, but this isn’t going to be ignored. It’s only a matter of time before the media catches on and the company comes demanding answers. Tell me the truth.”

“He is my sister’s son,” Changbin repeated, voice trembling as much as his hands. 

“Stop lying to me! I can’t help if I don’t know the truth. Do you really want to destroy everything we’ve built with your secrets? Felix has never so much as looked at your sister in that way, so how the hell could she have his son?” 

“Because I gave him to her!” 

Changbin doesn’t cry often. He doesn’t like being weak in front of people he should be strong for. But he’s never needed to appear strong for Chan. Chan was as close as a real older brother to him. Changbin feared disappointing him more than anything, but he didn’t need to be strong for him.

When the tears started falling, the truth spilled out like a broken dam.

* * *

Changbin was a celebrity, which meant there was always someone watching him.

Logically, he knew that the more fame a person gained, the less privacy they have. Between the media, tabloids, fans, and sasaengs, privacy was a luxury he was rarely granted. This was something he’d pretty much agreed to when he debuted as an idol, but it was not something his family had agreed to.

Most of Stray Kids fans, their Stays, were amazingly kind, understanding, and respectful. Most of their Stays would never even think about invading their privacy or that of their family. But all it took was one person to cross the line.

There’d been no malicious intent behind taking the pictures and even the initial posting of them had said only “Saw Stray Kids Changbin out with his sister. His nephew is so cute, he looks a lot like him.”

Despite the loud opposition by a large portion of their Stays, pushed along by Chan who had a large following even on his secret fan account, reminding everyone that a celebrity’s family are not public figures and their privacy should be respected and you most definitely should not spread pictures of children without permission from their parents, the pictures had spread quickly across the internet. 

The original uploader had deleted their post amidst the outcry, but things didn't disappear from the internet. They’d been reuploaded by others and continued to be passed around. 

Eventually, someone had pointed out the obvious.

“ _ Is it me, or does that baby look a lot more like Felix than he does Changbin? _ ”

“ _ He looks just like Felix baby pictures!” _

“ _ Coming from someone who is definitely not a shipper, that baby looks a lot like both of them.” _

When Chan had come across the pictures and speculations, he’d foreseen the death of their dream just as Changbin had the day he’d given birth. He’d been in denial as he’d quickly packed up and left the company, but by the time he’d gotten to the dorm and laid eyes on Changbin, he’d moved on to anger.

After Changbin finished spilling the truth along with his tears, Chan wrapped his arms around him and sighed. “We’ll get through this,” he said, though his voice lacked any amount of confidence. “We will. As we do all things, we’ll get through it together. But, before anything else, I need to talk to JYP PD-nim and you need to tell Felix.”

* * *

Having already told his story once, it’s easier to say it a second time. Felix sat and listened attentively, his face revealing nothing of his thoughts or emotions.

“I’m so sorry for keeping this from you,” Changbin said after he was done telling Felix everything. “If I had known I was pregnant, I would have talked things over with you. But the shock of the situation… you deserved to have some input on the decision and I took that from you, I’m sorry.”

Felix was silent for a long moment, but then he reached out and grabbed Changbin’s hand, holding it between both of his own. He leaned closer and met Changbin’s eyes, tears glistening in his own. “I’m sorry you’ve been carrying this alone for so long,” Felix said solemnly. “I’m sorry I put you in this situation. I’m sorry you suffered so much because of my selfishness.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Changbin said.

“I kissed you first. And I was the one who wanted to…”

“If I didn’t want it, too, it wouldn’t have happened.” Changbin interrupted. Felix had been the more sexually experienced of the two of them, but that didn’t mean Changbin didn’t know what he was agreeing to or that he’d been pressured in any way. “You know how I feel about you, Felix. Then and now, my heart is unchanged.”

Felix surged forward, wrapping his arms around Changbin and burying his face against his shoulder. Felix felt so small as he curled his trembling body against Changbin. Changbin held him gently as though he was the most precious thing in the world.

They sat in silence, just holding each other and processing their too many emotions for a while. After a few minutes, Felix finally spoke. “Is it selfish that I’m okay with this? I’m glad I didn’t know, glad I didn’t have to make the choice. If you had known and tried to talk it over with me… I wouldn’t have wanted him either. If you’d said you wanted to adopt him out, I would have agreed immediately.”

“Is it really being selfish when it was the best choice for everyone?” Changbin asked. “Neither of us wanted him, we would have regretted keeping him, maybe one day even resented him for coming between us and our dreams. But with my sister, he has a mother who loves him more than anything. She doesn’t regret or resent him. He’s happy. He’s the happiest baby in the world from what I’ve seen. My sister is giving him a life we wouldn’t have been able to. I never regretted giving him up, what hurt me was having to hide it. Whenever I saw him, I was reminded of how much I was lying to you. Even if giving him up was done for selfish reasons, it was still the best possible choice for him and for us, it was the lies that caused problems.”

There was a knock at the door before Felix could reply. Chan didn’t wait for a response before opening the door and peeking in at them.

“Time to face the music.”

* * *

On the morning of the third day Changbin was in the hospital, his sister had taken the blank birth certificate and her cell phone, she’d kissed Changbin on the forehead and promised to take care of everything, then she’d stepped out of the room and started making phone calls. 

“They never broke their contract,” Changbin’s sister friend who worked as a lawyer stated. “They hadn’t signed the final contract yet at the time the transgression took place. The contract they had signed was only for their appearance on the Mnet survival show  _ Stray Kids _ , it did not have the same dating clauses as the contract for the debut idol group Stray Kids.”

“The child was born after it was signed,” argued a JYPE exec that Changbin could not remember the name of.

JYP PD-nim spoke up in Changbin’s defense, “their contract forbade romantic and sexual relations from the day it was signed going forward, it doesn’t cover past misdeeds. It doesn’t matter when the baby was born, the contract only cares about when it was conceived.”

“Seo Changbin still concealed the pregnancy in the first place, that dishonesty is a breach of contract,” a JYPE lawyer stated.

The Seo representative lawyer answered this time. “Seo Changbin had a medical condition he was unaware of at the time of signing the contract. That is not illegal.”

“We do not allow idols who have children unless the idol is over the age of thirty at the time of debut. That is in the company’s bylaws.”

“Legally, Seo Changbin is the child’s uncle. He gave up his parental rights. His sister’s adoption of the child was legal and above board. Legally, Changbin does not have any children so he is in compliance with your bylaws.”

“I want Seo Changbin suspended from all activities until this is all sorted out,” the JYPE exec stated.

JYP PD-nim spoke up again, “That is the opposite of what should be done. Changbin and Stray Kids should continue their schedules as normal. Pulling him would only be taken as confirmation of misdeeds no matter what we try to say later.”

“So what do you suggest we do, ignore the whole thing?” The JYPE exec asked, a sarcastic bite in his voice.

“Honestly, yes. As long as the company doesn’t act to confirm or deny it, the whole thing will blow over on it’s on. The fans will continue to believe whatever they want, but the media only cares as long as there’s a story. Don’t give them a story. Act like it’s such a non-issue that it doesn’t even warrant our attention. Any denial wouldn't be believed in the first place and we can only guess the kind of response confirmation would garner from the general public. Though, from what I’ve seen on SNS thus far, most Stays are more than okay with the idea of a ‘Changlix’ baby.”

JYP PD-nim, the exec, and the lawyers argued back and forward for nearly an hour longer, while Changbin, Chan, and Felix sat in silence, their presence almost completely ignored. Chan reached out and grabbed Changbin’s hand, squeezing it in support and offering him a reassuring smile. Felix sat on the other side of Chan, but also offered a shaky smile.

“We can’t punish them for being emotionally distraught teenagers,” JYP PD-nim snapped, “not when we were the ones to cause the distress in the first place. And I would like to remind you, I never agreed to that no in-dating subclause and I want it removed from their contract as soon as it’s up for renegotiation.”

Changbin honestly hadn’t expected PD-nim to go to bat for them like this, no matter how much Chan had tried to assure that everything would be fine. He felt almost undeserving of the loyalty and support the producer was showing them. 

“Why don’t we just give you the company for all the demands you’re making!” The exec snapped.

PD-nim snapped back, “It’s  _ my _ company! I may have stepped down as CEO, but I still built this company from the ground and my word still matters for something. I don’t want to pull rank, but I’m not backing down from this. You have no legal grounds for kicking Changbin out of the company and any other action you take would be counterproductive. So you should do nothing. 

“Stray Kids knows their fans better than anyone. If they feel something needs to be said to their Stays, between Channie’s lives and the Kids instagram posts, Stays are already well practiced in reading between the lines and finding the truths that cannot be spoken outright. My faith in Stray Kids and Channie’s leadership is unwavering. They have done nothing to lose my trust, so I will stand by them.”

* * *

When the three of them made it back to the dorm, the rest of the members were all crowded in the living room, not even trying to hide that they’d been waiting for them.

“Well!” Jisung demanded when the three of them just stood there saying nothing. “What’s the verdict? Is hyung suspended? Is he fired? Are we disbanded? What!”

Changbin looked at them. This group was his family. They’d all been through so much together. He never wanted to leave them or to lose them. He didn’t want to cause them pain or suffering. He didn’t want to be the reason they broke. 

But he knows, in his heart of hearts, they would not break without him. They may waver for a second, but then they’d steal themselves and keep pushing forward. Stray Kids were strong and they’d worked too hard to ever let the actions of one person break them.

Chan stepped forward, squeezing Changbin’s shoulder as he moved past him and faced the rest of the team. “The company has decided that they will not be issuing a statement to the media or in any way acknowledge the rumors currently circulating. Stray Kids, all eight members, will continue with their regular schedules. If the situation does not blow over within a certain timeframe, they will reevaluate and make decisions from there. For now, we’re safe. Changbinnie’s not going anywhere.”

Immediately voices were raised in cheer and everyone moved forward as one to pull them all into an embrace.

* * *

Changbin’s sister’s son had freckles and a laugh that sounded like tinkling bells. He had no idea who Felix was, but he smiled for him all the same. Felix smiled back and greeted the toddler happily, with wonder in his eyes. The sight of them together made everything inside of Changbin feel warm and soft.

“I used to be scared that one day you would change your mind,” Changbin’s sister said, sitting next to him as they watched Felix listen intently as the toddler showed him his toys. “I wasn’t ready to become a parent either, you know. But I saw you sitting in that hospital bed, saw the fear in your eyes, and I wanted to protect you. 

“I’m your big sister, I’ve always wanted to protect you and look after you. But that little boy right there, I’m his  _ mother  _ and if protecting and looking after him means tearing apart the earth and heavens, I would do so in a heartbeat. I may not be the one who gave birth to him, but I am his mother and I love him as fiercely as any mother should. And I realized if there ever came a day that you changed your mind and decided you wanted him back, I would fight you for him. You may be my baby brother, but he’s my baby and I would let no one, not even you, take him from me.”

The fierceness of his sister’s words surprised him, but also filled him with relief. His eyes stayed on Felix and the child who was not their son. They were playing a game that involved smashing buttons on one of the noise making toys and singing along to the sound.

“I’m glad he’s so loved. I may have given birth to him, but I wasn’t suited to be a parent. I was just a selfish kid. Maybe, in the far future, I’ll be ready to be a dad and will have a child myself, but this one here was never meant to be mine. He couldn’t have asked for a better mom, though.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I would very much appreciate if you left a comment. Hydrate or die-drate, stream back door and my pace, mask up, social distance, and make good choices.


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